C(n)BC
Various Signs that
You Have A Drinking Problem....
- 1.You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
- 2.You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
- 3.Classes interfering with your drinking.
- 4.Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
- 5.Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
- 6.The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
- 7.Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
- 8.24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
- 9.Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
- 10."Norm!" is what they say when you enter a party.
- 11.When you can focus better with one eye closed.
- 12.The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
- 13.Every woman you see has an exact twin.
- 14.Beer, Beer, Beer... is all you can say after the 12th one.
- 15.If you keep asking your wife "where are the kids?" but you don't really have a wife. She's really your couch. Plus you have nothing but beer.
- 16.You fall off the floor...
- 17.Discover in morning liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared.
- 18.Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
- 19.Had "Spuds McKenzie" tattoo removed, replaced it with "Red Dog."
- 20.Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
- 21.Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore. - There's a sandwich in every beer.
- 22.The glass keeps missing your mouth!
- 23.Bill Clinton starts to make sense.
- 24.When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof??
- 25.Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you [also mosquitoes!].
- 26.Only drinking problem's not having a drink right now.
- 27.At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
- 28.Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.
- 29.When vomiting becomes a relief!!
- 30.Having a hard time staying on the side walk - left, right stumble fall.
- 31.You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
- 32.The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
- 33.You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine,Alcohol,and [Women]. - A redneck concerned about his diet
- 34.Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive. -
- 35.Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
- 36.Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs -
- 37.I'm not drunk... you're just sober... - HI OCIFER!!!!!!!!!
- 38.Problem? I Drink, I get Drunk, I Fall down....where's the problem??
- 39.If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories - realist.
- 40.Even rednecks stops doing jokes about your drinking.
- 41.The bourbon bottle's empty...that's the problem! - Hey...let's go get some more!
- 42.Find yourself as the captain for the Exxon Valdez.
- 43.When the bar owner actually carved your name onto your own barstool
- 44.Roseanne looks good.
- 45.Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
- 46.You LIKE the Barney socks you have on.
- 47.That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
- 48.You find yourself actually enjoying the food at that all night greasy spoon!!!!
- 49.The Whisky Ainpit Working Anymoer.
- 50.Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
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